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First Date Questions

What To Talk About On First Date: 20 Creative Ideas For Everyone

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Donna Hawkins
Relationship psychologist and writer

Nobody wants to be lonely, therefore, looks for a loving and caring partner, but it can be uneasy to find one. However, when you understand your feelings are reciprocal and this person invites you to the date, nerves are shattered. Trying to cope with stress people often behave strangely and can't make up their minds what to talk about on the first date.

If you're one of those who lose the power of speech and get embarrassed seeing a person you like, these things to ask on a first date will definitely come in handy to you. Look at 20 examples of topics to discuss and you'll never seem odd to the girl you like.

1. Find common interests

If you want to make these relationships develop, you should know more about the person of your affection. Furthermore, you should find points of agreement and conclude what common interests you have — the more of them there are, the higher chances you have to build long-lasting and trustworthy relationships. It would be great to draw parallels between common interests and decide how you can enjoy spending time together on the next date.

2. Learn the details about things you already know

The main goal of the date is to make a connection between two people. However, there's some information you already know about a person of your interest and you can start the conversation with these obvious facts. If you see that your partner responds to your statement pleasurably, it’s a hint to dig deeper and learn more details about that. This simple sentence can grow into a broader discussion of other topics too.


3. Speak about obvious things

Why not start talking about the latest news, weather, or things you can see around? Even if it seems strange, this topic can be a good way to start a conversation that doesn't go anywhere at the beginning of the evening. It may give you the courage to pick up other themes and remove the tension in the air.

4. Inquire about family and friends

One of the best questions to ask on a first date is to show you care about this girl and want to know more about her family and friends. If you want to attract a girl, let her in your family and tell something interesting about your close people. You can focus on the number of family members, their occupation, interests, as well as tell how you spend time with them. Don't forget to share some memorable facts from your life connected with them too.

5. Talk about jobs and professions

Since a job plays an important role in every person's life, you can discuss its pros and cons, as well as share your plans for the future. It's possible to mention whether this is your dream job or you plan to change it and build a new career. Don't speak only about yourself — ask a girl about her plans too. You can inquire whether she has any profession and if she plans to work. Some ladies want to devote themselves to husbands and kids, so you can find out if your vision of a family coincides with her wishes.

6. Ask what an ideal life is for your partner

Every person aims at perfection and there's hardly any lady who doesn't dream of an ideal family. You can learn what she expects from her future husband, what level of wealth is enough for her, and see if you can afford that. It may happen your representation of happy family life can be absolutely different and this is an important point to consider at the very beginning of relationships.

7. Support topics suggested by your partner

It's not always obligatory to get ahead of ourselves and initiate a conversation on your date, even if you're a man. Some girls can be brave and sociable enough to offer their own theme for discussion. The man's task is to support a woman and develop this conversation if it appeals to him too. Naturally, if you feel this topic is out of your interest, you can take another direction and change it step-by-step without making a woman feel uncomfortable.

8. Admit being nervous and ask about her state

Honesty is the best policy. If you meet a person face-to-face for the first time and tremble with excitement, why not admit that? You can approach a lady you like, make her a compliment, and confess you're nervous too. Moreover, you can ask how she feels and make a joke that your state is much worse. Women appreciate men who aren't afraid of admitting to their weaknesses since this is their unmatched strength.

9. Discuss your origin and childhood

How to direct your conversation on the right track? The best way is to remember funny situations from your childhood. Most women's hearts melt hearing about kids' unpredictability, especially if this “child” is sitting in front of her. You can ask about her early years, upbringing, clubs visited, etc. Such pleasant recollections create a positive atmosphere and encourage a woman to open her heart to a man too.

10. Exchange your preferences

Why do people go on dates? Of course, they want to learn more about each other. Therefore, direct questions about preferences are very popular among people who know little about each other. You can find out how she spends her leisure time, what food she likes, what places she wants to visit, etc. It's possible to discuss sports, books, movies, and other preferences as well. You may spot some common things and prepare a surprise for her during your next meeting.

11. Share your plans for the future

Though this topic isn't suitable for the start, it can be a good question to discuss when you have established the contact and began socializing. Every person dreams and makes plans for the future and they should be similar for a couple. It would be right to ask how she imagines her next 5, 10, or even 20 years. Does she want to have a family? Or does she prefer to build a career? This conversation will shed light on if this girl is a wife material and many other important things that can influence the future of relationships too.

12. Surprise her with the scariest/funniest/most unpredictable things you've done

The first date is meant to impress and it can be challenging without a good sense of humor. If you can't collect your thoughts because of nerves, try to think about funny or memorable memories from your life in advance. It'll be a great way to take the edge off and break the ice if you can't make up your mind on the spot.

13. Discuss things that make you laugh

The first date means a lot for overall compatibility, so it should have a unique atmosphere. The best way to create it is to laugh. Remember jokes, funny situations at work, in the family, with friends, and encourage her to do the same.

14. Dwell on your free time activities

A couple should have common interests and spend free time together. Therefore, it would be great to ask her how she prefers to spend free time and whether you can do that together. It can help you decide on the idea of the next date too.

15. Consider how you spend holidays

Vacations are often associated with pleasant things such as trips, funny activities, and memorable photos. Let her return back to these happy moments with the question about her last holidays. It's also possible to start building plans for the next holiday together already!

16. Show your talents

It would be reasonable to start communication with the question: do you consider yourself a talented person? If you see some doubts in her eyes, don't force her to answer. You can admit being not perfect, of course, but others say you’re good at singing, for example. This will inspire her to share her inner talents.

17. Tell what you like most in people

Since a man's purpose is to attract a girl on the first date, he should understand what male qualities are important for her. This hint will help you to behave appropriately and gain her trust and affection.

18. Exchange your vision of a perfect day/trip/date

Every girl wants to experience a perfect date but how can you find out her personal wishes? Naturally, you can ask her directly or remember some romantic films with several examples for her to choose from. As a result, you'll be able to surprise her on the second date already!

19. Share your attitude to social media

Social media has become an integral part of our life. If you know little about your partner on the date, you can ask what social media platforms she likes and is registered on. Moreover, don't forget to ask permission to add her to your friends or follow her account. If you manage to find a profile, it'll provide you with a lot of details about her interests, preferences, entertainment, likes and dislikes, etc.

20. Ask about her way of life

Every person has their own manner of living. Some people focus on healthy nutrition, sports, others are workaholics who can't live without their jobs. Inquire what way of life she has and share your own routine as well.

As you can see, there are a lot of things to discuss on the first date. Remember several examples from these 20 first date questions and you'll always find an exciting topic to speak about. Go and try them out to feel even more confident!