Dating Single Mothers: Learn How To Date a Woman With a Child
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In a romantic world, a couple is imagined as something created by two young people with no burden of past and other obstacles. However, a mature attitude to matchmaking should include understanding people with already written life stories who still look for love.
Dating a single mom might look complicated because of building a relationship with more than one person. Nevertheless, humans feel scared when meeting something unfamiliar. After reading these tips for dating a single mom, you'll have no hesitations or questions to start creating beautiful vibes between you and a girl with children.
How to make dating a girl with kids successful?
Dating a single mother is like dating any other girl, but with some peculiarities necessary to remember. There are helpful tips that will help you to build a healthy relationship with such a woman.
Don't expect to be the center of her attention
What people usually expect from relationships is having the total attention of a partner. They want to receive as much time as possible to feel loved and needed. Dating a girl with kids isn't the option for immature men who behave like children to get the utmost concern from adults. She always chooses kids not because she doesn't love you. She'll do it because children demand special care compared to adults. If you help this girl in her everyday routine – she'll definitely have more time to dedicate it to you.
Bringing up children solely isn't that easy thing. Particularly, it means changing time very often because she needs to take children from school to hobby classes, care for kids when they are ill and do other routine actions. To balance work and children is challenging. Hence, there should be no surprise about her frequent rescheduling time of your meeting. It doesn't imply she doesn't want to see you. It means she tried everything to come to meet, but circumstances didn't allow it to happen. Don't be mad at that – ask if she needs help. Dating single moms require tons of patience, but the reward is high.
Prove you’re the person to rely on
For single moms, meeting a decent man is the most outstanding value. Some women become single mothers due to mistakes done in previous relationships, so they start being more conscious and careful when making their choice. Moreover, those women look not only for future husbands but also potential fathers for their children. Caring about kids requires much more power and sources than wooing any women, which is one more fact in single mothers' minds. Therefore, while girls are looking for strong men, single mothers look for the world's strongest men. Show her you’re worthy of offering her help. You might help to drive children to their hobby classes or pay a nanny to have time for you two.
Accept children as an inevitable part of a relationship
They say dating single mothers means dating not only mothers but children too. Well, partly, it could be true. Building their lives, moms also count children's opinions and needs. They can deny a date in case their kids dislike a new man or get ill. Sometimes a girl doesn't have someone to leave children with, and a date will be accompanied by their laugh and demanding. Therefore, kids are always those who influence her and your decisions, intentionally or accidentally. The sooner you accept it, the lesser disappointment you experience.
Don't be jealous of her ex
If single mothers hadn't relationships in the past, they wouldn't have children. Therefore, there are always some men's shadows behind her. Those shadows might be their dead husbands, alive ex-boyfriends who take care of kids, and random guys met in bars one night. Sometimes women have a calm attitude to their exes, but sad cases happen too. Men begin feeling jealous because of several reasons. They might think they experience a lack of attention, love, respect, etc. compared to exes. Still, you should understand that ex is her past, even if he’s still present in her life as a person caring for children. And you’re the future. So calm down and enjoy being with her without making dramas about exes. She'll appreciate it, and you'll get additional points.
Show interest in children's lives
Establishing contact with a child is a necessary part of dating a girl with a child. Still, there are some points to take into consideration. Firstly, you shouldn't build trust between you and her kids in case you just began dating. Don't rush into it. Remember, single mothers have the protection of children in their genes, so they need time to see whether a new man is good and worthy to trust. Hence, you'd better wait until your relationship becomes more substantial, and only then ask to meet kids. Still, it doesn't imply your silence on this topic. Asking about children, their well-being, characters, and needs will be a good point for her to see a responsible and caring man in you. It'll melt the ice between people who just met each other.
Don't intervene in her nurturing of kids
After reaching the age of 18, all people in the world become experts in bringing children up. They tend to give pieces of advice even when no one asks to do it. It's a trap that can ruin everything between you and a single mother. Don't discipline her kids or share your opinion on their nurturing unless she asks you for such an action. Remember, she’s their mother, in fact and officially. After marriage, the situation might change. Still, you'd better talk with her on matters you find disturbing about her children.
Don't push a relationship with children
Some nations have a proverb meaning you can't make someone love you with force. It means that positive feelings between people should be raised step-by-step and grounded on the mutual desire to be together. Moreover, children aren't adults who’ll be patient or polite just because the societal moral rules dictate it. They won't tolerate something or someone they don't like. Therefore, be careful in establishing contact with her children. Don't pretend someone you aren't, and don't rush. Give them time to get used to you, and all the sides appreciate it.
Let her open a woman inside
In dating women with kids, children always make the weather. You and your girl will always consider their needs when creating their plans. Undoubtedly, the mother is a very responsible and strong social role. Still, every person has plenty of personalities inside. You’re a man, worker, son, brother, lover, etc. And the vital thing to understand about single mothers is that they are women too. They want to feel attractive and seductive. They want to feel themselves little girls in the arms of strong men. Hence, don't forget about this part and try to develop it. Offer her to spend time with kids while she’s enjoying beauty procedures. Make little romantic surprises. Those actions will make her shine from inside.
Give her some credit to show her potential
Meeting a single mother for the first time might give you a wrong impression. For example, you might find out you have no topics to discuss. It might sound even like you’re from different planets. Please don't rush into thinking she’s ignorant. Just imagine her routine: doing her job, driving kids everywhere, cooking, washing up, cleaning, talking, nurturing, buying groceries and clothes, and all of those actions and more happen every day and not once. That is a crazy schedule mothers face, and there’s physically no time for self-development and books. How to deal with those conditions? Create topics by yourself. Go to a theater, cinema, exhibition, or whatever together. It'll be a topic for sharing your impressions and emotions. And she'll be enormously thankful you put her out of an everyday routine.
Help her to cope with trust issues
Some single mothers are those who have a terrible experience of relationships in the past. They could divorce because of cheating, alcohol, or disagreement on any significant value. Hence, for single moms, it might be challenging starting to trust with open eyes and souls again. They need more time to get used and close to a new man. It's essential for them to see proof of your decency, stability, and trustworthiness. So don't push her to trust you immediately. Instead, win her commitment with little steps, which demonstrate your serious intentions.
Don't waste her time
A young girl with no experience and serious obligations has the time of all her life. Consequently, she has time for many mistakes she can face in relationships. Therefore, an unsuccessful contact with a man won't be an irreparable event in her life. For single mothers, the situation is a bit different. They possess a little time for themselves, as almost all the time is to care for children and make money for living. Moreover, the presence of kids raises rates in finding the best man to be together. These facts result in a situation when a choice should be right, and the price of mistake rises at its maximum. Hence, dating a woman with a child just for fun isn't a good option for you and her. Stay with her in case you’re ready for a healthy relationship with her and her family.
Pros of dating single moms
Will your life change dating a single mom? Of course! But who told those changes are for the worst? There are new joyful experiences you can have with your girlfriend-mom.
- In case of a successful love story, you get several people who love you and whom you love instead of one.
- You have no doubts a woman with a kid loves and wants children, unlike many single girls with no past.
- You can be sure she wants and seeks a relationship with serious intentions but not for fun.
- Single moms know everything about the values of caring and love. They don't neglect it as young girls do.
- Single mothers don't use egoism to ruin relationships. Instead, they prefer building a healthy relationship with a partner.
- Single moms are those who have no issues with forgiving mistakes.
- Women with kids don't play games to win men's hearts. They do it by opening their souls.
Cons of dating single moms
Dating any person brings some changes to a partner's life. There are some points to take into attention when dating a girl with kids.
- Don't expect your schedule to be strict and unchangeable.
- You're not the only one who wants her attention.
- You have to establish contact with her children and maybe an ex.
- She might have higher expectations about men than other girls. But you can be proud of yourself if you fit them.
Is dating a girl with a kid a bad idea?
Actually not, but there are some circumstances you should be prepared for. Firstly, you'll be not the only one who receives her attention. Secondly, children will always be in your relationship, even in the first stages of dating. Last but not least, dating women with kids requires much support, empathy, and patience. In any case, if you don't feel like a mature man ready to take responsibility for a woman and her kids – you'd better date with a girl with no past.
Is dating a single mom a good idea?
Dating a single mom has its peculiarities, but, frankly speaking, it doesn't differ tremendously from a girl without a past. Yes, she might hardly find an opportunity to go on a date because of her schedule. However, this situation is frequent for girls without the past as well. Also, don't forget a single mother is like any other girl who wants to be a woman in men's arms. Maybe, she wants it more than other ladies, and it's a trump card you can play with your special care. Moreover, when men meet women, they fall in love, they don't pay attention to anything else. They just want to be with those women no matter what. And, let's be honest, can children prevent someone in love from reaching a woman?
Tips for a first date with a single mom
How to handle the first date successfully?
Decide on your non-negotiables. Look inside you and understand which traits of character, values, and attitudes you'll never tolerate in your partner. Listen to her carefully: did you hear some of them? Did she declare her expectations about a man? This information will help you to make a choice.
Take a lot of patience with you. Her phone might often be ringing because of children missing their mom or a nanny telling about their well-being. It might be irritating, but irritation will push her away. So calm down and take it as inevitable.
Don't lie. You are a man with serious intentions, she’s a woman with serious obligations. Hence, lying is undoubtedly not a tool that will help you decide whether to stay or look for another woman. Try to be sincere to show the truth.
Let her relax. A date with you is her chance to escape from a routine reality. So let her calm down: take the initiative in planning a date. Be creative and offer her to visit places and experiences more interesting than a café and park.
Dating women with kids might look like a tough task, and that's why many men don't dare to begin such relationships. Yes, that kind of dating has several important points to consider. Still, men should remember that mothers are women too. And, at this point, there's nothing too burdensome in dating them, and only love decides whether to be together or not.